Neko

So... you like? Im acually thinking of changing it since it seems very.... well squished. But it took me a while to acuaully get it working so I guess Ill keep it awhile... But I cant seem to get my tagboard on the other side! Everytime i put it under Box it moves the whole colum to the other side. x_x

Ok I just came back from church and Father handed me this Pamphlet thing. Out of boredom I read it just a while ago. It was about Life After death and Death it's self.

They say you must be "perfect" to get into heaven. That in purgatory you try and erase and eliminate all your sins and mis-doings. But doing this... would acually be eliminating yourself. Sins are a part of me no matter how bad. I refuse to change and turn into a perfect droid. If that means going into Hell I'll do it. I will not change myself. I am who I am period.

The thing that annoys me also is that they say You Cant Say What Life is After Death. But there they are saying theres a heaven and hell and a purgatory. What the hell is up with that? That just messes up what they said...

*sigh* religion makes me wonder a lot.

Sometimes I think I like Paige more than she likes me. Or am I just really paranoid like usual? Oh well... Its not like Im going to ask her openly thatd be plain dumb. Salley and Kay's relationship kinda reminds me of Me and Paiges. man... Im really hungry x_x

You know what's been the thing thats been on my mind latley. That Paige and Matt are together. *sigh* oh well its not like my life has been perfect anyway. Maybe its better that way. I should really stop flirting with her. Geez Im such a dumb ass. I just really hope kno ones really reading this that I know... Getting invovled in love again macy... This hurts so much to say... I cant do anything with her anymore... I wont let myself... It wouldnt be fair to matt or anyone... I just keep digging my hole even deeper...

I just woke up and I had the most awesome dream I could probably ever have right now! Ok well I was at my old church, Lady of Lordes. And I was sitting there (during their cathiloc school) next to Paige. They wee having mass and stuff and I was really paying atention because all I could do was look at Paige and admire how beautiful she is. We were talking through the whole thing. I kept saying I cant believe Im here. (I guess I visited from georgia) I was kind of stroking her hand and leaned my head against her shoulder. Suddenly MxPx is playing on stage. That was weird Ok so we stand up and we walk around just talking to people. We got separated by the crowd so I was looking around for her and saw she was standing by Becky I think or one of her friends. So I walk up to them and Paige is gone. @_@ I walk back into the church and see MxPx is still playing and walk into the Loby. I see a huge line of people. For some reason they were in line in getting their school pictures. So I just stand and wait there. Then Paige walks out in a beautiful red dress. I mean wow.... I go up to her and say She looked beautiful and one of her friends come up and say you should see her black one. Paige kind of laughs and we start walking out of the church. I look at her and she has her normal clothes on again and I ask if I can come over for a while and she says yeah of course! I then put my arms around her and ticle her a little bit. And she says mmacccyyy in a laughing whinning way. And I go Dont worry Im not going t do anything by a church shesh! I mean cmon Im an innocent caholic girl *inside joke*

So for some reason we end up at the mall and its us walking around. I think we are holding hands and talking about stuff like we use to and laughing. Then we go into the car and Dustin picks us up. Me and paig were just whispering stuff and I start touching her stomach and she laughs. And i said jokingly aww I cant touch you? But Dustin heard and hes like What?! So hes rambling on to us and pulls over to a rest station and goes into the bathroom pretty mad. Paige follows him and I stay in the car. They have a very serious talk and they take me to Paiges house. Lots of other stuff happened but I really don't feel like saying right now. Well later. *btw I just saved this this morning. Never got to finish writing this*

Well... I finally got my lazy ass to updating. Since I last did this I was going to ramble on about Cooper's Halloween party I went to last week. You know what! It succckkkkeeddddd. No one even danced! They all sat around watching a movie or talking outside. I mean there were tons of people there. Geeez... But hey Salley and Leanna kissed so I guess they had a good time. =p

Another thing. Paige broke up with Jeff for real this time. Im kinda happy. I didnt really like Jeff... He was nice and all but he could get mean... I dont think he can control his anger. He can be a really really awesome guy though... I feel bad for him. But he would make sexists comments on how much "females" have hurt him. He can get over that because apparently hes the ONLY one going through shitty problems. Which pisses me off. He thinks he's the only one in the world going through hard times. Well.... you know what?! I know people how have gone through worse and are still sane dammmit! But I guess people have differences and different tolerant levels.

About me being happy about this... (wow I sound like a bitch saying that) I really really really love Paige. You cant imagine... Yeah that sounded to cliched but my god is it true! I think about her all the time. I can't wait til I can see her again. A couple days ago (before she broke up with Jeff) I kinda told her that I was "over someone" and I think she knew who I ment. I said that because... well... so we could just be friends. I dont know... This whole thing is sooo confusing. I just wish she was here.

Oh Sam's going out with my friend Leslie! Its really kool! Though he got on me for "gay flirting" with her. Oh cmon I was just joking! Leslie's straight anyway. Besides I flirt shamlessly on accident sometimes... ok a lot of times... >.>;

Come to think of it Paige is probably the only person I'd do anything with. Hell I really have nothing to hide from her. Ill be sure to put what happens here next time we see each other. Wont that be interesting?

Til next time bloggy.