"We're told to accept the fact that life goes on, and nothing is forever. NOTHING. But I don't want to accept this!! I dont want to see it all as just a dead thing before it dies!! I had something! I had something beautiful!! The world still spun around in all its arbitrary fury, but I HAD something to hold tight to! Something beautiful!! AND I FUCKED IT UP!!! I did EXACTLY what I NEVER wanted to do!! I turned it into something cold and weary!! Now, screaming in fear, I hold tighter and it squirms away, pushing me off!! And the faster I run to catch it, to hold it, the faster it runs away, the more it recoils from my touch. Dreaming of a world that has stopped dreaming of me. Going away, driven by the more desirable idea of new dreams. And I dont seem to be accepting it. AND I DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT! I DON'T WANT TO GET USED TO LOSING THE FEW THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL!!! I SAW THE FILTH! BUT I HAD SOMETHING! And the noise in my head with all its voices repeats ONE thing, incessantly, more than anything else -"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't let go of me now. Dream of me. Don't let me wake up. But I know that it is only noise...something... beautiful..."
-Nny
