>>Painted Roses<<
{Self Portrait}

Name: Macy Aviles
Birthday: 09/03/90
Misc: Im Bi and full Filipino.
Contact: kix_ass_azn911@hotmail.com (msn and email)

[--GOOD--] [JTHM] [Invader Zim] [Other Jhonen Works] [Sushi] [Poetry] [Writing] [Drawing] [Music] [Blading] [Rice] [Friends] [Lolllipops] [Squishy's] [Animals] [Freedom] [Limaids] [Anime] [Asian Pride] [etc...]

[--BAD--] [Clowns] [Weird, Slow Carnival Music] [Country Music] [Dolls] [Torture] [Big Houses at Night] [Screaming] [Arguing] [Friends Fighting] [Placing a Burden on Someone] [Guns] [Racism] [Hurting Friends] [Lying] [etc...]








Neko

"We're told to accept the fact that life goes on, and nothing is forever. NOTHING. But I don't want to accept this!! I dont want to see it all as just a dead thing before it dies!! I had something! I had something beautiful!! The world still spun around in all its arbitrary fury, but I HAD something to hold tight to! Something beautiful!! AND I FUCKED IT UP!!! I did EXACTLY what I NEVER wanted to do!! I turned it into something cold and weary!! Now, screaming in fear, I hold tighter and it squirms away, pushing me off!! And the faster I run to catch it, to hold it, the faster it runs away, the more it recoils from my touch. Dreaming of a world that has stopped dreaming of me. Going away, driven by the more desirable idea of new dreams. And I dont seem to be accepting
it. AND I DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT! I DON'T WANT TO GET USED TO LOSING THE FEW THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL!!! I SAW THE FILTH! BUT I HAD SOMETHING! And the noise in my head with all its voices repeats ONE thing, incessantly, more than anything else -"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't let go of me now. Dream of me. Don't let me wake up. But I know that it is only noise...something...
beautiful..." -Nny


   

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Saturday, September 18, 2004
Just a Thought...

You know what I realized last night when I layed down to sleep? That Washington wasn't my town. I just never really fitted in there. The only real reason I say Id go back is just to see Paige you know? Paige was really the only close friend I had that never did something to me. Im not saying my other friends aren't good its just that Paige stands out from them.

But here... its almost perfect here. It's just that Paige isnt here. Then it'd be almost a dream. Atleast here I have real friends. Unlike the ones back in washington. Speaking of that. One day I told my friend back in washington, Katie, I was bi. She told everyone at school and now Im so Gothic/Mental/Freak. Lovely friends huh?.... Only a few are sticking up for me and Im glad for that. Oh well... this isn't a long entry like most of them. Il type more at the end of the day. *goes off to play Ragnarok Online*

Posted at 10:36 am by DeadPoetic

 

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