Neko

Well Ive finally gotten off my lazy ass and decided to post... Well... Today sucked again. Ive been majorly depressed... I thought I got over her... I thought things were done. But NO I had to ride with my parents in there car and listen to their horrible Love Songs. I secretly cried behind teh seat. I still love her. I feel so lonely... Nothing can help me now. Not even Matt. I cried in church... whenever we come to the part where you shake hands with people i would be so happy because I knew when I looked over my shoulder Paige would be there. I looked over my shoulder and she wasnt. I use to be so happy Id acually sing along to teh hyms... now... I dont do anything. I try and hold my tears in. I dont wanna love anymore... Why does love has to constantly taunt me?! Why me?! Why must I be Loves victim. But I guess everyone is Loves victim...

I remember the days where Love didnt touch me. I didnt know how it felt. Until I met him . Ive lost so many tears to this thing called Love. This overseerer called love. Im sick of it. This whole "living in georgia" thing isnt going well with me. Ive never been so depressed in my fucking sorry excuse for a life. I have happy times dont get me wrong but they last only for so long... I think Im going suicidal deer blog... but Paige is teh onyl one who really knows. I promised I wouldnt kill myself. MY cowardness and my promise is whats keeping me alive.

I can picture it... a lovely death. Everything would be off my shoulders. I could sleep without interference. But I dont want to die in my hands... Ive never would of though of me killing myself. Now... its so familiar. Things have changed so much... Ive changed so much...