>>Painted Roses<<
{Self Portrait}

Name: Macy Aviles
Birthday: 09/03/90
Misc: Im Bi and full Filipino.
Contact: kix_ass_azn911@hotmail.com (msn and email)

[--GOOD--] [JTHM] [Invader Zim] [Other Jhonen Works] [Sushi] [Poetry] [Writing] [Drawing] [Music] [Blading] [Rice] [Friends] [Lolllipops] [Squishy's] [Animals] [Freedom] [Limaids] [Anime] [Asian Pride] [etc...]

[--BAD--] [Clowns] [Weird, Slow Carnival Music] [Country Music] [Dolls] [Torture] [Big Houses at Night] [Screaming] [Arguing] [Friends Fighting] [Placing a Burden on Someone] [Guns] [Racism] [Hurting Friends] [Lying] [etc...]








Neko

"We're told to accept the fact that life goes on, and nothing is forever. NOTHING. But I don't want to accept this!! I dont want to see it all as just a dead thing before it dies!! I had something! I had something beautiful!! The world still spun around in all its arbitrary fury, but I HAD something to hold tight to! Something beautiful!! AND I FUCKED IT UP!!! I did EXACTLY what I NEVER wanted to do!! I turned it into something cold and weary!! Now, screaming in fear, I hold tighter and it squirms away, pushing me off!! And the faster I run to catch it, to hold it, the faster it runs away, the more it recoils from my touch. Dreaming of a world that has stopped dreaming of me. Going away, driven by the more desirable idea of new dreams. And I dont seem to be accepting
it. AND I DON'T WANT TO ACCEPT! I DON'T WANT TO GET USED TO LOSING THE FEW THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL!!! I SAW THE FILTH! BUT I HAD SOMETHING! And the noise in my head with all its voices repeats ONE thing, incessantly, more than anything else -"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't let go of me now. Dream of me. Don't let me wake up. But I know that it is only noise...something...
beautiful..." -Nny


   

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Monday, September 27, 2004
Death

Today sucked AGAIN. I dont feel like saying it but Im really mad at my parents. And I realized how much of a wuss I am. How much of a freak I am. Im such a small lil stupid dumb ass coward you know?! I hate myself and knowing the fact I cant handle stuff better then other people. One day I wish Ill become strong like someone I know. I dont know how she does it but... shes so strong... She puts up with almost anything...

I cant do that all the time I whin I over re-act... People have gone through far worse then I have... And I whin and I say my life sucks. When my life is heaven compared to some people... Im such a baby... oh dear blog... Im such a baby.

Posted at 09:11 pm by DeadPoetic

 

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