Neko

Ok I just came back from church and Father handed me this Pamphlet thing. Out of boredom I read it just a while ago. It was about Life After death and Death it's self.

They say you must be "perfect" to get into heaven. That in purgatory you try and erase and eliminate all your sins and mis-doings. But doing this... would acually be eliminating yourself. Sins are a part of me no matter how bad. I refuse to change and turn into a perfect droid. If that means going into Hell I'll do it. I will not change myself. I am who I am period.

The thing that annoys me also is that they say You Cant Say What Life is After Death. But there they are saying theres a heaven and hell and a purgatory. What the hell is up with that? That just messes up what they said...

*sigh* religion makes me wonder a lot.

Sometimes I think I like Paige more than she likes me. Or am I just really paranoid like usual? Oh well... Its not like Im going to ask her openly thatd be plain dumb. Salley and Kay's relationship kinda reminds me of Me and Paiges. man... Im really hungry x_x

You know what's been the thing thats been on my mind latley. That Paige and Matt are together. *sigh* oh well its not like my life has been perfect anyway. Maybe its better that way. I should really stop flirting with her. Geez Im such a dumb ass. I just really hope kno ones really reading this that I know... Getting invovled in love again macy... This hurts so much to say... I cant do anything with her anymore... I wont let myself... It wouldnt be fair to matt or anyone... I just keep digging my hole even deeper...

I just woke up and I had the most awesome dream I could probably ever have right now! Ok well I was at my old church, Lady of Lordes. And I was sitting there (during their cathiloc school) next to Paige. They wee having mass and stuff and I was really paying atention because all I could do was look at Paige and admire how beautiful she is. We were talking through the whole thing. I kept saying I cant believe Im here. (I guess I visited from georgia) I was kind of stroking her hand and leaned my head against her shoulder. Suddenly MxPx is playing on stage. That was weird Ok so we stand up and we walk around just talking to people. We got separated by the crowd so I was looking around for her and saw she was standing by Becky I think or one of her friends. So I walk up to them and Paige is gone. @_@ I walk back into the church and see MxPx is still playing and walk into the Loby. I see a huge line of people. For some reason they were in line in getting their school pictures. So I just stand and wait there. Then Paige walks out in a beautiful red dress. I mean wow.... I go up to her and say She looked beautiful and one of her friends come up and say you should see her black one. Paige kind of laughs and we start walking out of the church. I look at her and she has her normal clothes on again and I ask if I can come over for a while and she says yeah of course! I then put my arms around her and ticle her a little bit. And she says mmacccyyy in a laughing whinning way. And I go Dont worry Im not going t do anything by a church shesh! I mean cmon Im an innocent caholic girl *inside joke*

So for some reason we end up at the mall and its us walking around. I think we are holding hands and talking about stuff like we use to and laughing. Then we go into the car and Dustin picks us up. Me and paig were just whispering stuff and I start touching her stomach and she laughs. And i said jokingly aww I cant touch you? But Dustin heard and hes like What?! So hes rambling on to us and pulls over to a rest station and goes into the bathroom pretty mad. Paige follows him and I stay in the car. They have a very serious talk and they take me to Paiges house. Lots of other stuff happened but I really don't feel like saying right now. Well later. *btw I just saved this this morning. Never got to finish writing this*

Well... I finally got my lazy ass to updating. Since I last did this I was going to ramble on about Cooper's Halloween party I went to last week. You know what! It succckkkkeeddddd. No one even danced! They all sat around watching a movie or talking outside. I mean there were tons of people there. Geeez... But hey Salley and Leanna kissed so I guess they had a good time. =p

Another thing. Paige broke up with Jeff for real this time. Im kinda happy. I didnt really like Jeff... He was nice and all but he could get mean... I dont think he can control his anger. He can be a really really awesome guy though... I feel bad for him. But he would make sexists comments on how much "females" have hurt him. He can get over that because apparently hes the ONLY one going through shitty problems. Which pisses me off. He thinks he's the only one in the world going through hard times. Well.... you know what?! I know people how have gone through worse and are still sane dammmit! But I guess people have differences and different tolerant levels.

About me being happy about this... (wow I sound like a bitch saying that) I really really really love Paige. You cant imagine... Yeah that sounded to cliched but my god is it true! I think about her all the time. I can't wait til I can see her again. A couple days ago (before she broke up with Jeff) I kinda told her that I was "over someone" and I think she knew who I ment. I said that because... well... so we could just be friends. I dont know... This whole thing is sooo confusing. I just wish she was here.

Oh Sam's going out with my friend Leslie! Its really kool! Though he got on me for "gay flirting" with her. Oh cmon I was just joking! Leslie's straight anyway. Besides I flirt shamlessly on accident sometimes... ok a lot of times... >.>;

Come to think of it Paige is probably the only person I'd do anything with. Hell I really have nothing to hide from her. Ill be sure to put what happens here next time we see each other. Wont that be interesting?

Til next time bloggy.

Omfg! The party was so fucking awesome! I got some tongue and a lap dance so Im happy! lol Ok lemme tell you all about it...

Ok so Sam and I get to the party (I took him since we live close and stuff) and Salley and Candy were there already. So we were downstairs just messing around with the fog machine and this blinker light thing. We had Tatu on. So we were just messing around dancing and stuff. Then uhh... Juan showed up and then Misty then Bridget and her sister (whos one year younger then us) So we all start dirty dancing. There was going to be more ppl but the high schoolers had a party to go to instead. (fuckers, but oh well one had a good reason and that effected it) Salley's girlfriend was suppose to go but she couldnt (the high skooler) her mom wouldnt let her go cuz Salley was there and so the other high schoolers didnt go either. So Salley was on the phone with her for a minutes. So we were all dancing (rather sexy... ok very sexy) and Me Salley and Misty start rolling around the floor on each other. First it was me and Misty becuz we were dancing but she started ticklign me and both fell and Salley joined us. So we were all dancing fooling around. And then I was sitting on the couch and Misty comes and sits on me. And Sam was like Make out make out! We both laugh and she puts her hand over my mouth and starts kissing her hand. lmao. and we both laugh again.

Then we all decided we were going to make a bon-fire. So we all go outside and sit around her awesumly awesum tree house(leanna'a) and have marshmellows and stuff. So we were all just singing random crap and messing around.

Oh! I forgot before we went outside Leanna and Bridget start doing this lil skit they put together. (something that was related to reno 911) so while they did that I sat on Misty's back and gave her a back masuage. And then she gave me one. My god! Shes fucking good! XD It was the best masuage ive ever gotten! lol THEN we go outside lol.

Ok so after we did the whole hang out outside we all go back inside and dance more. But even more sexy! Leanna was on the couch and said she wanted a lap dance. So Salley gave her one. Then I gave her one then late ron Bridget gave her one. Then Salley gave me one and I gave Salley one. Oh! and I think Misty gave Leanna one also. So we all kinda laugh that off and just start dancing again. So me and Misty are dancing and we both fall on teh couch. I was on her lap on top of her. And I start giving her a lap dance. And sams liek make out make out! Again so I put my hand over her mouth and kiss it lmoa. So I continue the lap dance and then I was like "Ok time for the real thing) and we start making out! It wasnt long though =p. But hey I was happy with it. So we all just continue dancing. Oh! and right after I gave Salley a lap dance I took the Sprite bottle and I poored some on her stomach and I lick it off. (closest thing to body shots I can get to right now -_-) so we all start dancing and stuff.

Oh and at the party I taught Sam how to dance lol. Hes like IM PIMP NOW! haha. and sometime in the party Leanna's mom came down and started dancing with us! lmao her mom is awesum! She did our lil walk dance. Its liek you walk 3 steps and then you kidna shake your hair around and go down with your ass and come back up. Its kidna hard to explain but itw as awesum lmao. And right when It ended we all just sat on the porch talking about random stuff. lol We all swore that it wouldnt get out of that room. But I think my blog is ok to tell it to. Just promise not to tell...